asssimilation

Reading Benetha’s confident proclamation about assimilation really reminded me of how I have been assimilated. I can speak and understand some Chinese, but I cannot read it at all. I am not up to date on any Chinese news and I barely have any knowledge of Chinese history or culture. My parents did their best; we only speak Chinese at home, but that’s not enough for me to be fluent in Chinese. I don’t know any Chinese traditions except to eat noodles on a birthday, and I never know the dates of Chinese holidays. When I get married and have kids, they won’t be able to speak Chinese. They won’t know of the Mid-Autumn Festival or the Spring Festival. They’ll simply have a vague recollection of Chinese New Year, and even that isn’t certain. I would have to search for the dates every year. I can’t make any Chinese food. I don’t know how to make zongzi or baoji or jiazi at all, and even if I learned, it wouldn’t be authentic like my parents’. Thinking of the future, I can only see myself losing my cultural identity. I do really care about China and I am proud to be Chinese, but I do not feel the same patriotism that my parents feel for China. I don’t cheer when they win an Olympic medal or defend them against controversy. All of my relatives live in China, and I feel a huge disconnect between us. A cultural gap. I still love my relatives and miss them, but I don’t understand them. I have never talked to my cousin and I don’t really know anything about his life unless my parents update me, but I want to know. I want to learn about how my grandparents met and how my baby cousin is doing in school. I want to help my cousin who’s in Australia going to college. I want to listen to the stories of the Cultural Revolution and how my grandparents survived them. But, I can’t.

jiao zi (dumplings)

baozi (steamed buns)

                                                 

zongzi (sticky rice? i think)